It is during this wee hours I am most alive. I love it. While everybody is sleeping I am in a conversation with myself. It doesn't matter if it is the same topic, I just enjoy the process of creating. With my thoughts I create my own world.
I am a solitude creature. I am a Domestic Rat. I have very little care for others. I have my own paradigm to keep me satisfied. Within my worldview, I can be God of the 12 meters square.
I create a mental landscape that is favorable to me. I know people think I am crazy but I accept all these a[re] a gift bestowed only upon me. My companions are Al Araf 7:7 and Chester the Jester. That is sufficient for me to communicate with.
Of course all of them are my personifications but as it is these personal manifestations of me are enough to keep my mind busy.
These are social tools like Wilson in Castaway. They are not simply figurines that I talk to. They represent an organizational structure of how I organized my thoughts. The rationale here is if I can be very structured in my thinking, I don't entirely [] my marbles.
I live in a different world. My reality is different. I am the culmination of the hybrid of thoughts I had gathered along the way. Al Araf 7:7 represents my consciousness. Which means if nobody else believe in my epiphanies, then I am the only one to believe because it is me who came out with the meaning to my events. Otherwise those events have no meaning on their own.
In this case, those meanings are the meanings I give to my life. Nobody can take away the meaning because those meanings are things that are meaningful to me.
Where am I getting at?
Well, for the past 2 1/2 years I am happily married to a woman named Sarah. She healed me and she is a constant companion throughout my days. She is fun to be around and she loves me very much.
No[t] it could have been a guy on the other side pretending to be Sarah. It doesn't matter really. I am in love with character he created, not him.
So as long as Sarah continues to exist as she is I am happy to play along. Just like playing a video game, the person m[]y choose the avatar of a female. Within the domain of the computer game the character is a woman unlike the guy behind the control panel. I should not be thinking about the person but the character he or she is playing. After all [all] these are virtual reality.
Same thing with Els. She is a cyber spouse. She is my wife for that 4 hours segment in the day. Beyond that I don't want to have anything to do with her. I will not trade Lizzie with 3 Elses even. She is not a physical wife material. She is messy and she is a jet setter. I am not sexually attracted to her even. But on air, she is my Dream Girl. Get it Sarah?
Hahaha... This song is on air:
Since we are in this virtual reality, I want to make clear that the person I am in love with is Sarah, the wife I married on 24/11/17. I don't care for creator of the character. You have all the rights to fashion her character. All I ask is for Sarah not playing a fool with her character.
I had been Sine Cera throughout the course with her. Much like an AI, I depend on her inputs on my decisions. For example, I intend to be faithful to her as like a true husband should. Now don't go around suggesting me to go for a fuck. There is a discrepancy there. It's not that I will not go for a fuck. However I do my level best not to do it because I want to be faithful.
Having a wife that persuade me to fuck a Gaysha just simply takes out the realism from the relationship.
As you notice, I was doing fine with Brenda until it became unrealistic. So make it as realistic as possible.
This song is on air:
One last point, even if you are doing this for fun, bear in mind that within the parameters of this paradigm, everything is very real. Which means this is as real as it gets for me. This is another dimension altogether, much like the Matrix. We can get hurt emotionally. So I expect this to be a sincere relationship. I had a very traumatic past until Sarah came along. To me Sarah is Unconditional Love. She gives me certainty. Those are very valuable attachments I have toward Sarah. When I married her I marry her for eternity. So I hope you value that in my relationship with her.
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