Perhaps rather than trying to rationalize my thoughts for the past 20 years, it is best to conclude the thoughts during the Bipolar phase as crazy. At that time I had an overactive imagination. Fueled by dope and mania, my judgment was badly effected.
Not all thoughts are bad. I had my best thoughts in Dreams of Mirrors. They were good thoughts that I managed to harvest between my ridiculous thoughts.
Therefore I was walking on a thin line between insane and genius all along. Pretty much like John Nash.
With that in mind I decided to discard all my epiphanies as patternicities and coincidences. If I am to live my life as an agnostic atheist then I have to accept that I am nobody special. Maybe then I will look at the world with a new perspective all over again. It is a world of probability and I am just another number in a a few billion.
I have to let go of everything that makes no sense with the exception of Al Araf 7:7 since they are my Council and my confidants.
That is applying Napoleon Hill's concept of Invisible Council. I can however shelve the concept of God and the afterlife. Not because I don't believe they don't exist but because I want to concentrate in my here and now. As far as I am concern I cross the afterlife when I get there.
I need to concentrate on creating my next 22 years. A good example i[t] I need to focus on weight and get rid of inflammation.
None of what I do now is going to prepare me for the afterlife. In short, I only believe in God and afterlife when I see them with my own eyes. No faith required.
That makes me into a person without faith.
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