I had more or less decided to live in isolation. Just me and this PC as my means to express my thoughts.
I am not concern with the people out there because the less I interact with people the better.
To be in isolation is to be in control of the situation. The minute you deal with people then the level of uncertainty increases.
Now I don't know whether you are still following my Blog but honestly Sarah, you are about the only one I can tolerate outside of my immediate family.
The rest are nothing more than a distraction for me, like Norlia. Suddenly I am fuming over nothing..
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Sarah baby, this past few days are not the best days of my life. The gout pain is excruciating. Still I write because I know you are reading these postings.
However, you notice that I deleted quite a number of postings from today and yesterday. That is because I don't think they are streamlining to my thoughts now.
What I am thinking right now is to be as ordinary as possible WHILE holding on to my past thoughts rather than discarding them.
That is because I am taking the attitude of "I don't know" to some of the things that I wrote. Who knows, I maybe a crazy person after all and my thoughts don't carry weight.
There are so many things I wrote in the past that cannot be validated. Therefore I rather shelf those thoughts as untested ideas instead of harping on their validity.
At times I feel that I am nothing more than a fiction writer and these are the figments of my imagination.
However, if it is agreeable with you I like to continue writing to you rather than myself. That's because by writing to you I am not entirely alone. I can be in isolation but I don't like to be in seclusion.
When I cut off from all the channels, I don't have anybody else except you.
So even if you don't respond to my writings, I will still write to you because now you are the only one I got.
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