13/8/19 ***Went to the hospital today

Thank goodness I can walk although I was limping.  I spent 3 hours in the hospital for what I can achieve in 15 minutes at a clinic.  The difference is FOC vs RM100.

I ate the usual breakfast with Nasi Lemak and rice with fried chicken in the afternoon.

On top [top] of that I had fruit sherbet.

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You see, as long as I don't meddle in External Affairs, I will be fine.  I am still crazy but I just contain the craziness within my own realm.

I guess everybody is entitled to his own personal level of craziness.

Let say there is nothing.  No afterlife whatsoever.  How will I live life?  I guess I will be less reckless in my pursuits.  I will be more responsible in my daily actions because the goal is to preserve myself as long as possible.

All this while, my belief in the afterlife had made me into a person longing for death.

I am not thinking like the mainstream, which is to avoid death.

All the time while I am thinking about the afterlife I am imagining a world of fantasy.

Well, nothing can be validated.  They are all based on my imagination.

If I take that [] of the equation then there is no such thing as the afterlife.

All I got to [] is admit I am delusional and I am back to being an agnostic atheist.

I still believe in God though but I am impartial of his existence.  It's like I don't give a hoot about God, the afterlife and the Judgement of Heaven.

So today I decided to FINALLY admit that.  I will drop the topic of God and No God except from the perspective of a man fully functioning.  In this case the term God is rhetoric instead of literal.

With that I will collapse my thoughts on things that cannot be validated with the exception of Al Araf 7:7.

Why?  Because whatever I can envision on Al Araf is there.  They are my Inti Padu. I don't have to look far.  So of all the things I am collapsing is Alam Shah Alam.  Other things I can see I still include.  They are not however my afterlife but rather the representations of my life now.

As you can see, I am cutting the afterlife altogether from the realm of my consciousness.

It's like The Lego Movie.  These objects are the fuel to my imagination.  They are not real.  What I can say is I have a very active imagination.  Again it's about giving meaning to events and things.  Probably that is how lore was created.  Together with the influence of toxins and the surge of dopamine, my mind went for a wild ride.

If you ask me now those things were just the effect of my imagination.  Nothing m[e] to it.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

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