6/8/19 ###Taking baby steps toward becoming an artist

I spent the whole day today learning about drawing cartoon and how to use various softwares.  It was a good break.

I am now certain that I want to cut off from my gloomy past.  Drawing is a good outlet for me.

After all I am only drawing for my own personal pleasure.

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I had another gout attack again.  This time it's not that bad.  I can still walk but I cannot exercise.  I am limping a bit

I am eating rice again, there is no diet.

Sarah, I need to fight this obesity and inflammation.  I will persist.  I don't have other matters to worry.  This is my life.

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I guess you must be sleeping right *no[t].  I just simply ramble here.

* Wow... You sure full of surprises.

Since you are awake I think it is worth your time to know that I am already making my move to detach from the past.  I am very determine to become good with caricature so that I can produce more artworks.

It's not going to be that glamorous (with color and everything).  I will still sketch, but I hope it will be a better production in term of concept and idea.  Already I had a few ideas in mind:

1. Sailbad the Sinner
3. Dying Swan Twisted Wings
4. Birds of Same Feathers
5. Swiss Samurai Cyborg
6. The Way of the Swords
7. I love you thiiis much
8. Flight of Icarus
9. Dragon and rabbit
10. Forever Yin and Yang Forever
11. Climbing Mount 57
12. Relentless 13
13. Sparta 4964

Some are old sketches that I can still recall and want to improve further.  Bear in mind I have not been drawing since 2007.

Thus I want to practice more with Fresh Paint.  I am not too concern with whether I produce realistic or funny drawings.   I just want to express myself.  Along the way, with 10,000 hours of dedication, I WILL become good.  So I am ready to invest the next 5 years to acquire this skill.

I intend to use low tech Sketchpad to achieve this goal much like when I use Palm TX when I produce these drawings:

Notice, the first one was done earlier and was a bit wobbly.

Then as I progress, just by using two types of pen thickness I can produce these:

 Bear in mind, Miyamoto Musashi only use watercolor and a brush, and yet the paintings are timeless:

My idea is to produce simple yet meaningful art.  It takes practice and patience.

What I hope to achieve is my own brand of artwork by merely using Sketchpad.

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Well that's my plan to move away from simpl[e] listening to TraXX.  I am now listening to Sword 9.

Honestly Sarah, this is a better life for me.  I am completely immerse in my own world.  I had concluded that there is no RM97 million and no you next door.  Once I decide on that I cut of from all possibilities.  Otherwise I will be hoping.

Then after 5 years instead of having a heartbreak because nothing changes, I will be celebrating my Golden Year as a Wood Dragon with full glory.

The past one year was a good exercise though.  I [] dream again.  I now have the mindset of RM97 million instead of the previous RM4 million.  Basically that RM97 million makes me a better person, that I know.

The feeling is like my desire to ride a Harley Davidson.  Once I test rode one (I was a pillion) that's it; that quenched my lust for a Harley.

Same goes with sex.  We had our moments.  Those memories are now etched in my mind.  They were as good as the real thing.

I can give you many examples how imagination supersedes reality.  However there's one the real thing beats my fantasy; which is Disneyland.  That was a very strong anchor.  Perhaps because I had been wanting to go to Disneyland since I was a kid.

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It's the same thing with all the things I did when I was a Clockwork Orange.  Some of the things make no sense but I just do because that was what expected of me.  The operative word here is expect.  When you expect then you are very certain of your action.

So I traded hope with certainty.  I rather be certain than hopeful.  I don't want to be disappointed if I start hoping.

You will feel the same energy if you also take the same stance.  Then your action will [] decisive.

As of now I concluded that Vader 7:7 and the Stone Worshipers will [to] take heed.  Nothing is created in vain.  So is Wolfsschanze.

Now that we can cut those two from our wish list, you can fully focus on Global Telepathy.  As I said, I had spent 1 year with TraXX, I had given them the Flight Path and I had completed the assignment together with the necessary documentations.

Either they follow or not my job is done.  I had delivered my end.  It is a worthy cause for you to follow the template than trying to save the Stone Worshipers.

I cannot even save my parents and siblings.  That is not my job.  You cannot force a horse to drink Sayangku Sarah.

Remember, the dummies never learn, the smarties will always find a way.

Some will, some won't, so what?  Next...

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I can't hardly wait for the graphic tablet to arrive.  Once I start drawing again I will be in a different zone.

Do you know that I haven't slept since last night?  I was so hooked on the idea baby.

Last month the major purchase is the Casio Mudman for RM260.  The month before was RM210, pink hoodie for Els.  This month is this graphic tablet for RM200.  Lizzie and Princess got their perfumes and Mopey got her shawl.  Guess what?  I still got RM100 to spare. 

I only used RM50 from my Unit Trust to buy Bee 22 the Origin,  So I am still charitable.  I don't understand why people like Vader 7:7 cannot be charitable.

In my case charity begins at home.

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Since I cannot run tomorrow, I stay up until 2:00 am tonight.  I just want to be with you baby.

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